7/7/09

I've always felt pretty supported. I have THE most incredible family a person could have. I am blessed beyond measure, and I don't need for anything. Over the last few years, I have reclaimed my true purpose on this earth, and that is to worship my God and to witness to others. Yep, you heard me: to worship and to witness. Today, I am more like my 12-year-old self than I have been in nearly 20 years. But I'd like to think that God has filtered out a lot of my judgemental haughtiness and inadequate, childish misconceptions and He has shown me how to love people. And yet, I am still so flawed. But that's not my focus today. Anyway, I am trying to live a spirit-filled, praying life. Most of my prayers are for other people. There's really only one thing I want. And I just pray all the time for God to make the desires of my heart His desires for me so that I know I'm seeking His will for my life. Then I know I'm not chasing after my own humanness, but rather, His best blessings for me.



Jon and Kate Prayers





I always assumed that everyone would be in my corner when I got married. Every time there's a family wedding, I get the inevitable:
"So, is there a man in your life?"
"When are YOU getting married?!"
"You're losing the race....." or
"Well, you're not getting any younger..."
----or, my personal favorite----
"WELL I GUESS YOU'RE NEXT!!!!!"
:D I love my family. They have no idea what those comments do to my heart, but it's okay. I know they mean well. I just usually change the subject to baseball or politics or something else random and we all move on.
I KNOW my family will support me. But this whole thing with Jon & Kate has gotten me thinking - who are the ones who wouldn't support my marriage? Especially if I were in the ministry? I know it's unthinkable, but there are women out there who find godly men the most attractive of all and go after them like sharks. Rings don't matter to those women.

There are people out there who are cheering on the divorce proceedings of Jon & Kate. I'm crying as I pray for them to reconcile. I'm crying for their family, but also because I don't understand the breakdown of the family unit in our country lately. When did we become so calloused and embittered that "we" as a nation actually propel the notion of divorce as an early option? And people are so disgustingly "happy" about it! It literally makes me sick. I want to buy out all remaining copies of Fireproof and do a Clockwork Orange-style viewing on the whole country. EVERYONE should watch that movie. Ok, well, at least, Jon & Kate should sit down - no cameras, no acting, and watch that movie. I wish they would.
I want a Jesus-centered marriage. I want a Jesus-centered life. I want to please God in everything I do. This is my prayer. Whatever He has for me, I willingly accept. Wherever He wants me to go, I willingly go. Whenever He calls me, I willingly listen. This is my prayer. That I am His, and that He is in me. All the time.