heavy

I am the heaviest I've ever been.  I am also the happiest I've ever been.  I do not feel ugly or fat, but I happen to be bigger than I've ever been before, and people have noticed.  I am beginning to understand what it's like on the "other side of the fence" of how people treat people, based on their looks> size, hair color (I already knew that one well, from many personal experiences of changing my hair color), skin, etc.

BUT WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE?!

My mom had a legitimate concern.  It is true, I almost did not fit into my wedding dress on our wedding day.  I gained so much weight over the summer that between June-Sept, I was having trouble breathing in the dress, and the dress wouldn't zip.  (Yep, ugly confessional time)  So I don't fault my mom, who paid for my dress (THANK YOU!) for expressing a little concern over what we would do if I couldn't wear the lovely garment on the special day.  Still, it seemed that, no matter what changes I made in my eating, or how often and hard I exercised, the weight wouldn't come off.  Stupid medications. ha. :)

I've been on the flip-side.  I've lost a lot of weight (also medication induced) and had numerous people compliment me, and even ask my "secret."  I finally told someone at church, "Uhhh, my secret is, I have to take daily medication for my migraines, because they are so bad. And it messes with my stomach and I can barely eat anything lately, so that's why I've lost all this weight."  She actually said, "Ooooh I need some of those pills!"  It made me feel so un-special, like she didn't care at all about my pain, and my condition, and all she cared about was the fast track to getting skinny.  And that is what our culture tells us - skinny = pretty.

WRONG. WRONG. WRONG.

Recently we stayed with family.  For breakfast, donuts were provided.  These family members were AT our wedding, and may have even witnessed me eating a donut at the reception.  For the record, I love donuts and eat them a couple of times a month.  But somehow there weren't enough donuts to go around, and the comment was made, "Oh, Keri, I didn't get you any. Didn't think you would want any."  Now, that doesn't seem so bad, but it was on top of two other comments from this family the night before:
"So, do you have to watch your weight?"
and my personal favorite...
"Are you guys trying?"  Me- "Trying what?"  "Trying to have babies?!"  Me-"Yes, we are trying as hard as we can NOT to." 
Was the insinuation that I look pregnant, since it was sandwiched with the other comment about me watching my weight?

All I'm saying is, medications mess with people's systems.  I have known many people who refuse to take beneficial medications because of the social stigma attached, and these too have physcial effects that can make weight fluctuate.  But the benefits sometimes outweigh (pardon the pun) all the other stuff.

I am healthy.  I am happy.  And I honestly think I look good.  I'm not in the running to be America's Next Top Model, and Tim and I are both watching what and how much we eat and trying to exercise regularly. 

People get very wrapped up in the wrong things.

Ok, I am done.  Now, to church.  Cuz it's SUNDAY - YAY!!!!!