What a week. I was under pretty severe spiritual attack this week. I didn't even realize it until Thursday mid-morning, when I received an apology email from a parent of one of my students. She said, "I'm sorry for my comment to you in the meeting this morning. I realize it seemed like I was attacking you, and I don't know why I said that. Please accept my apology." And then I went.... "Oooooohhhhhh! Ok, Lord. I get it! That's what all of this has been!" If I were to list the things that happened to me between Tuesday morning and Friday afternoon, I might not even believe it myself. Just know that since I got this job, I've never felt more hated, more bullied, and taken advantage of. Oh yeah, and I hit a curb on my way to school Wednesday morning and blew out my tire. That was my own fault! LOL. Thanks again, Dad. It was just simply a horrible, horrible week.
I mistakenly thought that after last week, with 4 days of bad migraines, all I had to do was "make it" through this week. After all, it was a short week - we had inservice Monday but only four days with the kids and I was actually prepared for them this week! I had fantastic lesson plans. I had put a lot of effort into them. I was ready. I knew what I was going to do if they misbehaved. I got plenty of sleep Monday night and I wore the right outfit Tuesday and I was waiting for that difficult class when they came in.
See how much I did?
What I did not do was rely on God for my strength. What I did not do was take my recent difficulties and challenges to God and petition Him for His support. I merely tried to make it through the week.
Even though my roommate and I and some other girls are currently working through the Esther study (Beth Moore), I am confessing, on the world wide web, that I was not IN the Word every day like I needed to be and I left myself open and vulnerable to a full-blown spiritual attack this week, defenseless and broken.
It's not enough, people, just to say "I pray." It's not enough to read the Bible once or twice a week. We have to be hearing God's voice through his emails to us (that's my new term for the Bible, since I like email so much, ha ha) and if you're not cracking open the Big Book, it's like not checking your email. And who would neglect their email account for a whole week? Not me!!! I know God has something new and different to tell me every single day, if I will just make that time for Him. I have to... I don't just want to. I need Him!
I know just what you mean. I myself have not had the best week. But it's Saturday and the funeral is over and now it's time to move from grieving to healing. Next week is a new week. And, from what I hear, I'll see you soon so that should make anyone smile right?
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