I Think I Know How God Feels

Read my post from this morning Gentle Spirit if you haven't yet, so this will make sense.

Today, several of my students were flat-out rude, mean and spiteful to me as I tried to be gentle. There seemed to be a general conspiracy among my problem students, that the nicer I would be, the more they would spit it back in my face. I held strong, for the most part, retaining my sense of gentleness that Jesus and I had started out with this morning, sitting right here in front of my recliner, with my pink & brown Bible and a cup of coffee.

But oh, how it hurt. How it grieved my heart, for the students to respond to my gentle correction with such venom and hatefulness. I survived 5 straight hours of this with no break, and then I grabbed my keys.

As I talked to my mom during lunch, while driving around in tears, she confirmed to me that I am not a failure and that there is something wrong with the world. We considered the recent change in our country's politics, and I breathed a little easier when I was able to notice a distinct correlation between the rise in nastiness since January 20th and the specific students who are giving me the most trouble. (Figure it out, I'm not writing it)

Also, tonight, as I was pouring my heart out to someone else, I said something I didn't realize I was saying. It went something like this:
I just love these kids....... but they reject it over and over and it hurts. This must be how God feels. Hmph. There's an epiphany.

And so I'm wondering if this is what God wanted to teach me through all of this. I believe He still wants me to be gentle in spirit and words and actions, but my lesson, the application for me personally, is to realize just how hurtful it is to God Almighty when His children reject His love. And yet He keeps loving.