hate you, love you

I talked to my pills today. Thankfully, no one was around to witness this. Of course, I'm blogging about it so now everyone will know. (everyone, meaning all 6 and a half of you who actually read this, ha ha)

See, I'm reducing my medication. Yes, it's with the doctor's knowledge. Just weaning off a little more slowly than she told me to do it. I used to take two pills a day, one in the morning and one at night.  I started doing this every-other-day thing, where I would take my regular dosage of pills one day, and then the next day just take one in the afternoon.  Well, after two weeks of that, I'm just now down to one pill a day. Today was my second day in a row of only taking one. When my reminder went off (I have my cell phone set for the afternoon) I got out my pill and said, "I HATE YOU!" But then I realized, no, I don't. The meds help me; they truly do. I'm not trying to get off of them completely at this point... just take less for now.  So then I said, "Nah. I love you."  And then I laughed.  Maybe I need a totally different prescription altogether. ;\

Some people believe that it's unfaithful to take medication for certain conditions, such as depression, anxiety, ADHD, or a variety of other "mental" disorders.  I believe that when the physical body gets out of whack, God has made it possible for us to receive good medical care while remaining faithful and believing in who He is.  I believe He is the Healer.  I believe that with all my heart.  But this is an imperfect world, and these bodies are our dust-jackets. 

When people want to judge someone for "taking drugs to deal with life" I think we should remember that God made us, and made us all different.  It makes sense if you look at our outsides: noses, feet, hair, etc.  So what one person is able to do with their body may not work for another, and someone might just need to take that pill.  Maybe for a month.  Maybe for their earthly lifetime.  It's a very personal and difficult decision.  And none of them are without unpleasant side-effects. 

But as followers of Christ, we should be the last ones to pass judgement on those who are: admitting they need help, and doing something to receive it.  I mean, atheists think we all need lithium - *we talk to an invisible God, whom they don't even believe exists, and WE HEAR FROM HIM, TOO! 

I just want to encourage you. If you are taking medication for a medical condition (no matter what category it falls into) I strongly urge you to follow what your doctor has told you and pray long and hard about how God wants you to take care of your body and treat your condition.  Evil is never His will; He intends only good for His children.  Good, according to His purposes.  Try reading all of Jeremiah 29 (not just the favored verse) and understand what He wants from our hearts.  It makes all decision-making much easier.

p.s. I have written a song about living with chronic pain, but I don't know how to upload an audio file on here. I'll see if I can figure it out, though....