Need

I have come to the conclusion that I do "need" a man. Not "need" in the way that the word is sometimes used, but moreso for times like today when I am in immense pain and agony from one of these migraines that medicine can't touch. When my mom rubs my neck or my dad brings me potatoes, I am reminded of my human frailty. And my sense of independence is replaced with humility and gratitude and even uncertainty. I am so thankful that I am normally healthy and able to do anything I want to do, but when it hurts this much, to the point that I can only lie horizontally and it hurts too much to even sleep... I have to eat my own words and admit that, physically, I do need that man. Emotionally, I'm okay being alone. Spiritually, all I need is God. But physically, I really do need someone.
I still pray God's will for my life, fervently hoping that marriage is part of His plan for me. I believe my migraine condition is allowed by God to remind me that I need Him, and that without Him I can do nothing, and it helps me to appreciate the simple things in life when I wake up the next day feeling normal (which to me will feel incredible) and I hope to never take it for granted that I can move about without the aid of a wheelchair; that my body isn't paralyzed or in some way disfigured; that I have the mental capacity to make my own grocery list and do my own shopping.
But right now I only feel pain. I know how I will feel later, but even knowing that, I can't think of it right now.


*Side note: This migraine is most likely due to changes in the barometric pressure. The pills don't do anything for this kind of migraine. The only things that help are submersing my head in water (especially the ears) and by tying a bandana very tightly around my head. If you have any other suggestions please let me know! Thanks.